My situation

So I did't wanted to get to this posts again, but I really need this now.

I feel sad again. But not that type of "sad for a day." I don't even know how or why, or I might do, but at the same time is so confusing for me. I' pve never wanted to give details about my life because I think is silly and the content doesn't really matter. But know I'm so afraid and lost I need to tell somehow what is going on.

I wish I could say my own problems bother me, but is actually my parents. My parents legal problems to be precise, and since I'm over 18 I must take legal action in all their demands. I don't even understand them but I'm involved and not only that I live in the other side of the planet and I'm supposed to "do something." And of course both of them ask me to be... on their side... which is also stupid.

I used to be afraid to say this, but I guess it doesn't matter anymore because I think I'm living with this forever, I had a depression. I used to sleep everywhere all the time and anything, anything would make me cry. I remember the worst feeling was that I didn't wanted to do anything, I wished I could stay in bed all day. I am very stubborn, and thanks to that I saved myself, but I used to have really bad break downs and that's what I fear the most now.

I have nok clue what to do, or how to solve this. My parents have been arguing for about 9 years... 9... and we haven't just deal with legal shit but also personal things. I wish all of this was a nightmare,  I wan't this to stop so bad that I'm willing to do anything.

The worst part is I'm keaving the dream, my college, living alone, new friends, a new culture but I feel so alone and anxious. I need my friends, or my sibilings but they are doing what they are supposed to.... keep going with their lives. I shouldn't expect people to take care of me, I should be able to do that, but I feel so small and weak.

I usually think all of this pain is going away or that I will be able to bare with it, but each time something like this happens I feel more and more broken. I spend my days locked in my room not letting anyone know whats going on with me. I put a smile, and you could ask anyone and they would tell you I'm a very happy person, but on the inside I feel like dying. The truth is I never expected this to happen again, but I've learned the hard way that life puts us tasks and I know this is a new on. The thing is I really don't know if I'll be able to do this once again.

I knooooow, I know

Hi once again!

I know I always say I'll be back for sure but since I've arrived I haven't had a free moment. I was elected group delegate and I had rehearsals almost every day.

We had our Bernada Alba adaptation last friday and it was very different from our last version but it was an awesome experience. I'm so happy with the cast and the director, we do an amazing team.

Also my laptop is broken *cries eternally* and I must wait until december to fix it. Which meeeeans I'll spend holidays back home! I thought this year I wouldn't be back but I'll see my friends and family an eat delicious holidays food.

I'll try to post more with the app (which I hate... aaaagh), but still I'll try and also with the school computers (which I also hate because is very uncomfortable but jhdfabpviapig).

Lots, lots of love

According to Marissa

Back in Spain!

Hello! I'm back in Spain! I got here on Monday, my trip was terrible I felt I've traveled for an entire week, but well I'm back and the year started great. We're rehearsing again Bernarda Alba and I couldn't be so happy about it. We'll be performing in a festival in Madrid.

I must say right now I really miss home, I want to be with my mom and siblings but I now I must keep strong. As I said before this year I have a big goal: New York 2015-2016. I'm hoping I can go on exchange, and I'm working very hard for it.

Well I must go back and learn some monologues... sight* I'm officially back.

According to Marissa

Going away

It's sad going away from home because many things are going on home. I feel divided. I love what I do, school, the play, but there are issues at home and I don't wanna go. I miss my friends so much, my grandparents, my siblings. I've always been a "home person," I don't go out to crazy parties or stay out too late. I need MY people over there, but I need to follow my dreams and goal because I know it's all gonna be for good. I'm kinda confused and it all feels very weird, I have many and different feelings at the same time.

Its weird because I feel responsible about whats going on in home, but I've always been like that. I know I must follow my dreams because I know it will all pay back.

According to Marissa

Four

One Direction released today their newest single Firepoof... and it's free! You can download it on their official web page: http://www.onedirectionmusic.com/

Also they made the announcement that their new album "Four" would be released in november!

They definitely sound way more mature and a very different sound from their previews albums! Can't wait to listen to the rest of it!

According to Marissa

Hilary is officially back!

Hilary performed at the Australian X-Factor with her newest single All About You! I've always loved her and I'm so happy she's back. And she performed awesomely well! Here's her performance.

According to Marissa

Anna Kendrick in "The Last Five Years"

Finally the first sneak peak of the awesome Anna Kendrick and Jeremy Jordan in "The Last 5 Years." I caaaaaan't wait to see this movieeeee! I'll leave you here the clip, ENJOY!

According to Marissa

Fainting...

Hi! Ooooook, so I was very proud of me cause I was posting blogs daily buuuuut something happened...

So I got this big pain in my neck and when I went to the doctor, she did some weird move in my neck and I fainted for a while. The thing is I've been resting a lot and that why I couldn't blog. But I'm back and the countdown continues till I leave, I have a week left and I'm already feeling nostalgic. 

I also wanted to share with you guys what I did now in my makeup class.

This one was sooooo much fun to make! Sadly on tuesday I'll have my laaaast class.

According to Marissa

Make up class!

Hello! I've been taking this week some make up classes, but not any type of make up... MAKE UP FOR THEATER <3


Today we did some drag, and it's so crazy! Specially getting the eye brows covered...

                                

In my previews classes I did an old women and a kinda very punched faced.

It's been so much fun, sadly I have to classes left, and as I said yesterday the countdown continues. Today I started packing because it's what I hate the most of traveling. Oh well, 12 days left.

According to Marissa

So the count down starts for me to leave my home town. I'm going back to (my now second year) in Spain. I must say times goes by so fast and I can't believe it's been a year now. It also make me sad that I have to leave again, I miss everyone around here very much because costumes are very different from ours. Still I having so much fun in Spain and I enjoy studying what I love and my adoptive family over there is so cool. Also in october we'll be doing our Bernarda Alba adaptation in a theater festival and that makes me so exited and happy.

I have 13 days left *cries

According to Marissa

"If I Stay" Review

Yesterday I saw this movie, and I must say it wasn't what I expected. First, personally I'm not a big fan of Chloe's acting and this movie wasn't the exception. At first I thought this movie would be more like a "life choices" themed with the love story, but it was mainly and exclusively about their love life.


I do like chick flicks with all that they include but in the trailer this seemed so much different and interesting. I must say I did cried in the end because of a scene with Chloe's character and her grandpa, but that was it. This movie would have been really complete if they would've shown more about her home life and the music and not focus on the problems she had with her boyfriend.


I'm not saying this is a bad movie, the thing is it got sold as something very different from what it is. If you like chick flicks this is a very good movie for you.

According to Marissa 

Friends reunion! Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox, Lisa Kudrow and Jimmy Kimmel in "Friends"

Jimmy Kimmel got them back together. I don't know if it's part of the show, but Jen didn't seem quite exited. Still this is really cool and funny!

Accoring to Marissa

Remove the dust

Hello!
I know I always do this, I say I'm coming back, that I'll keep my blog alive... but I actually never do. My last post was from 2011 so please... yeah.. well. I used this blog to write really sad stuff, and sort of as a diary but I think is time to shake things off. There's a lot going on in my life, but still, I won't bore you with my life. Instead I've decided to share cool stuff I found around, and maybe sometime I'll write about me or whatever. But to start I want to share with you this video.

So you might now this, or not, but Jay Leno just left the tonight show and the new host is the awesome Jimmy Fallon. He's first guest was Will Smith and of course they did it again. They "danced" the evolution of hip-hop.

Hope you enjoyed,

According to Marissa